So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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