Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
