Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
