is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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