Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
