yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
