did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
