Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
