the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
