he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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