Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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