Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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