we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
