I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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