I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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