i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
