i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
