ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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