It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
