I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
