D3 body, D1 cock
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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