All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
