I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
