Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
