dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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