Can Purell be used as lube?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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