She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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