I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't deserve a penis
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
