He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so let's talk penis.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
