If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
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naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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