and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
