Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
