I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
