It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
