Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
