am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
