you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize