the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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