I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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