I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
