I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
