she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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