Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
