Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Acid is not a monday night drug
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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