1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
