i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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