Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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