please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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