Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
