you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
