hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
