Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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