Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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