"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
