Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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