Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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