Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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