very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
