There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
