the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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