Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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