Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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