your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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