im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Soap is not a condiment
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
