There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
