Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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