she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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