On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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